Connecting Once Again
The mission of the nonprofit organization – Hive Family Collective – that I co-founded with two other mamas Perry and Joanna is to “connect, educate and support all families on their journey from pregnancy to parenthood.” If you are a parent, you know the range of emotions raising a child can evoke. It’s possible to feel utter joy in one moment and then despair the next. All parents need a community to share our highs and lows, to address our challenges and to celebrate our triumphs.
Here’s an example of the “both/and” of being a parent. This spring my daughter sweetly waltzed into my studio upstairs and asked me if she could bake. She pitched the idea of macaroons, French Silk pie or brownies. We decided on the French Silk. She kindly offered to make the crust gluten free since I don’t eat wheat. I said yes to baking. She kissed me, walked away and said, “thank you mama - you are the best.”
My heart ballooned as I watched her leave my studio. She was the sweetest darling - thoughtful, talented and super cute. Two hours later, I walked downstairs to the kitchen was horrified. There was coconut all over the floor. Chocolate covered dishes were stacked in the sink. The mixing bowl lined with the last of the whipped cream hardened. The pie cooled on the counter without any wrap over it.
Next to the pie was a note. “I went to R’s.” She left this mess and went next door! Who did she think would clean this up? I looked at the mess and wondered: what was wrong with her? Where did I go wrong as her mother? I was infuriated. The moment of joy from two hours ago gone.
I spend a lot of time with new mamas. They too experience the “both/and” of motherhood on a daily basis. “The baby both slept for three hours and cried for two.” “I finally made out of my house and then my baby had a blow-out.”
The past year and a half of isolation has been difficult for everyone on the globe. However, the postpartum families have not had the in-person connection which I know is so important when experiencing everything for the first time. Without a community to share their highs and lows, these mamas felt alone.
Praise be! This summer we are back together! Each week Hive Family Collective hosts a new mama meeting outside at the Park City Library. At the library, there’s a heart-warming coffee shop called “The Lucky Ones” which employs workers with disabilities. For the past several weeks a handful of mamas have pushed their strollers over, grabbed a coffee and pulled up a chair.
We are building community through laughter and tears. We talk about all the things postpartum: milk-supply, sleeping, and baby gear. They connect on diverse but common issues like setting and maintaining boundaries with their in-laws and finding qualified and affordable childcare providers. The mamas swap phone numbers and friendships are being made.
A few years ago, my friend Carly was pregnant with her second baby. Carly is my friend who hired me as a doula five years ago – the birth that started me on my OMazing journey. Carly has a way of pulling out my seeds of talent and helping them grow. Carly asked me if I would teach prenatal yoga. She was having a hard time finding a class. Being the “yes” girl that I am, I agreed. Carly found a couple other pregnant mamas to join us. We practiced for a few months in the local high school gym. To this day, those women are very good friends.
One of the mamas from that class, Megan is pregnant with her second. She reached out to me this spring and asked if I would teach another round of prenatal yoga. I said, “of course!” We started a text chain and invited a few pregnant mamas to my backyard on Monday evenings.
The first couple months were touch and go because of weather. It snowed or rained three out of the first four weeks. However, since summer started, there has been very little rain, allowing us to have a consistent day and time outdoor classes. Word went around town. I’ve received a few texts throughout the summer. “Will you add me to your prenatal yoga list?”
As new expecting mamas join the class, others leave. Every couple of weeks, a baby announcement appears on the text chain with a photo of the newest baby in town. In May, two of my yogi mamas had a baby the same day at the same hospital! They didn’t know it until they shared their news on the text chain. I love the connection.
In June, I started a second class. This time, I teach a morning “Mommy and Me” yoga class in the park. The library and coffee shop are both just across the street from the park and after yoga, if the mama have time, we all go to coffee and meet the other NewBee Mamas.
In addition to the coffee meeting, Hive offered a hike. A few of us gathered one morning and walked a Round Valley trail. One of the mamas brought a friend whom she calls “Mimi”. Mimi has grown step-kids and is happy to help out with these new mamas. One of the women is moving next week. I overheard “Mimi” offering to help watch the baby even though they met less than an hour ago. After confirming that Mimi was vaccinated, she said yes. She would love the help. Who wouldn’t?
I thought later that I am so happy Hive is alive! Born in COVID, we are transitioning out into the world, connecting once again. I am grateful for this time. Coretta Scott King said, “the greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members." Filled with compassionate people who desire to support and be supported, Hive is bound to be a great community.