Learning to Respond
I recently received the news that I was accepted to a Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program beginning February, 2021. I am excited to study with the incredible teachers Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach. Tara earned a PhD in clinical psychology and blends Western psychology with Eastern spiritual practices. Through her books, guided meditations and courses, she teaches millions of people around the globe to pay more attention to their inner life through mindfulness and compassion. I fell in love with her on the meditation app Insight Timer and one day received an invitation to apply to their program.
Jack Kornfield is equally impressive. Jack is credited for bringing Buddhist practices to the United States. After graduating from Dartmouth in 1967, he served in the Peace Corps in Burma. There he studied under Buddhist monks and was ordained as one in 1969. Upon his return to the United States, he co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Massachusetts and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California.
My draw to the program is to deepen my meditation practice as well as to learn vocabulary and tools to teach. Mindfulness is at the core of both yoga and childbirth. I am certain it has enhanced my life and helped parenting. I know I want to be present for this journey. The years fly by and I don’t want to look back and feel like I missed it because I was in my head thinking about something in the past or planning for the future.
Parenting is tough. Whether it is calming a crying baby or referring a dispute between siblings, patience is paramount. And patience is a practice. I grew up in a household filled with love and kindness. But no one was afraid to yell. My hot temper did not fall far from my mama’s tree.
Shouting is a reaction - a reflex. It’s no different than being at my doctor’s office when she hits my knee with a tiny rubber hammer and it jerks straight. Responding is different. It is mindful. I can choose a response. But in order to do that, I need to be awake in the moment to understand that I am triggered and on the brink of yelling. I need space between the event and the response.
Viktor Frankl’s beautifully writes in Man’s Search for Meaning “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lie our growth and our freedom.”
As a prerequisite for the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program I am taking an online course called “The Power of Awareness”.. Tara Brach explained a technique as called STOP to create that space.
S: Stop what you are doing
T: Take a breath
O: Observe what is here
P: Proceed with presence.
The STOP idea is similar to something I learned in my yoga teacher training called “ABC.” In that technique, I created a 4 syllable mantra. Mine was “I.will.not.yell.” When something happened, the event, I’d take a mindful breath and ground my thumb on my leg and recite the mantra to myself, placing each of my other fingers on my leg in turn with each syllable. Only then would I choose my response.
A: A mindful breath
B: Beat
C: Choose my response
Both techniques are only useful when I remember to use them. However, it is a practice. I am grateful that I have the awareness of mindfulness. Knowing that life is finite, I want to be the best that I can be. I often think about the final lines of Mary Oliver’s poem “The Summer Day”
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
