Thankful.
Who doesn’t love Thanksgiving? A five day break from the the office and school that revolves around a gigantic meal is welcomed every year. The focus on family, friends, pie and gratitude makes it not only a heavenly holiday, but my favorite one.
Gratitude is the highest vibration. I know that to be true. When my heart is full of appreciation, my existence is more peaceful and joyful. Perspective grounds and centers me. I am healthy. I live in abundance. I work with women preparing and giving birth. What gifts!
The Tuesday night before Thanksgiving, I volunteered at the University of Utah hospital as a doula. It was hard to leave my family after dinner. My daughter gave me her pouty face. I was tired. However, I knew that once I arrived on the Labor and Delivery floor at the hopsital, I’d wake up and would not regret being there.
I arrived around 9pm and checked in. The charge nurse sent me to Room 2. A twenty five year old woman, Maria, was seven centimeters dilated and struggling with her contractions. She was waiting for an epidural and was climbing the walls with every surge. After a quick introduction, I started pressing on her hips offering counter-pressure. She was using Nitrus for relief but her contractions were coming on top of one-another. It was intense. I knew that my assistance was appreciated but we were all business. About thirty minutes later, the anesthesiologist arrived and administered an epidural. Maria’s pain was instantly relieved and she closed her eyes.
I love choices. I wholeheartedly support any decision a birthing woman makes in labor. The birth is her experience. Prior to labor, whether in a yoga class or childbirth education class, I share benefits about moving around in labor. It often helps the cervix dilate quicker. With an epidural, the relief of pain is divine, especially if a woman has been in labor for hours and hours. But it can stall labor and dilation. The body is relaxed and there is no gravity helping the pelvis open and the baby move down. And a stalled labor is what happened with Maria.
Right after the epidural, she immediately fell asleep. I tip-toed out of her room and went back to the nurse’s station. I checked in with the charge nurse who sent me to Room 12. I met a couple who was having their second baby. Kate, the mother had been induced a few hours before and was waiting for her epidural. She had no desire to labor without medication so she was just killing time. I sat and chatted with her for an hour or two while her contractions started. When the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epidural, she asked her fiancee to take a photo. The nurse asked if he was comfortable with seeing the needle in her back and he said he had no problem with needles. His body was covered in tattoos so we all had a laugh and agreed he had seen many needles over the years.
We were wrong. This guy was not OK. Right when the doctor was placing the needle in Kate’s spine, the fiancee said, “ I am going to pass out.”
And he did! He sat down and lost consciousness right next to the hospital bed. I stepped closer to Kate who had to sit still because of the epidural. I assured her that he was OK and she needed to breathe. The nurse gave the father of the baby some juice and helped him to the couch.
“Well, I guess, I am not as tough as I thought,” he said in a self deprecating tone. Everyone in the room laughed. I reminded them that this was all just part of their birth story.
At around 1am Kate was medicated and ready to rest. I said good bye and went back in to Maria’s room. There were six family members crowded in the room silently watching the TV. I pulled up a chair next to her and asked her how it was going. She told me had gone from a 7cm dilation to a 6. She admitted she was very happy and comfortable. I sat with her for a few more hours. We talked and I supported her through any sensations that she experienced despite the epidural. She told me that she and her husband met in Mexico and moved to California and then Utah. They married at eighteen years old and wanted to have a baby from day one. It took them seven years to become pregnant. She gave up and didn’t think it was going to happen. And one day it did! She was so grateful for this baby girl.
Maria was a beautiful, strong woman. I know that she will be a loving mother. She was looking forward to Thanksgiving with her new little family. It was 5am when I said good bye. I hoped that I would have been present to support her through the birth, but there was a massive snow storm on its way and I was tired. The news was calling the storm a Bomb Cyclone. I drove home in the beginning of a blizzard and crawled in bed right before 6am.
I thought about Maria all weekend. The next time I am at the hospital, I am going to seek out her nurse and ask about Maria’s birth. I imagine that she had her baby Wednesday morning in the storm. The next day was Thanksgiving. Like me, Maria would have looked at her family and her heart would be filled with gratitude. We are all the same.
Thanksgiving = GivingThanks.
